I’m one quarter done with the year 2013 now, and I’m more or less officially done with my first Academic Year in SP. (DPA-> DMC 02-> SP Handball-> SP Netball)
To think back on all of the memories and the events that I’ve gone through with so many amazing people in my life…
I can’t even pen down these thoughts into words how grateful I am to have all of them 🙂
In their many ways, they have all made such a huge difference and impact on my life. The feeling is indeed mutual.
I’ve had to go through an awful lot to get through the year, stressful as it was. Just trying and trying.
It took me quite some time to figure out what I was really heading for and what I really wanted in my life.
And you know how in life, the “inverse proportion rule” somehow comes into place… When you’re up, something definitely has to be going down.
You make decisions, priorities, decide commitments in which you feel that will work for you in the long run.
And till now, I’m still facing that same dilemma- never figuring out what I really wanted for myself and all I see are short term goals.
Goals that could make me happy just for a little while about my achievements and how the future is bright when in reality it is not.
“When I reach the end, I’ll be satisfied. I’ll be okay.”
I was never satisfied.
And it was never enough.
But there was an invaluable lesson that I’ve learnt this year that has really made the whole journey less… painful to the soul. The voices in my head that used to bring me down start to shut up a little and I become more oblivious towards them.
You know when you have someone by your side the whole time throughout your ups and downs, sorrows and laughters to be shared with- the days don’t really seem to matter and you stop taking note of the numbers that keep passing by you.
And you tell yourself that better days are always coming by. Because you are always loved and cared for in ways that even you can’t comprehend but you know it.
Whether from a significant other, family, friends… it comes from within.
Knowing that alone, you get stronger and stronger and your mind automatically feels at ease when you’re in the moment.
I don’t know how to get across my words properly and express myself that clearly anymore. Maybe because when you become more mature (it’s a nicer way for saying you’re getting older) sometimes you stop trying to figure most of the things out and just let things fall into place. Either that or I just don’t find time or feel like there’s a need for long showers to reflect about the origins of life whatnot.
(With all that seriousness aside)
PREP-camp tomorrow + netball friendly 10-10 in school tmrw!
Followed by 3Days 2Nights of CASS FOC! 😉
BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN I WAS A FRESHIE..
If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.