Feels like history

Hi old space, it’s been awhile yet again.
In fact, what seemed to have felt the longest.
The week never seemed to end, and with the bad, comes along with the good.

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I’ve don’t think I’ve seen, or felt myself in such a weak physical state before.. Not even when it was the upcoming major examinations or what not… and actually having to see different doctors within a matter of days or had to deal with so many pills/MC before. To the point where I literally had to push myself… just to survive through the quarters on court. Out of breath, everywhere was just a daze to me when I’m running/jumping… I don’t know how I’d pull it off when I couldn’t even walk properly after the game.  But no pinpointing, I’ve asked for it. And last night, lying on my bed- as dramatically exaggerated as it sounds, I felt so much fear in not waking up I had to make sure I was holding on to my pulse so that I could feel something there. I was just so emotionally and physically……. unstable.

Maybe I really deserved this, and somehow it all just came at the wrong timing admist everything.

Forever asking for trouble.


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